Monday, October 4, 2010

Oh, Hilary.

Hello Kittens!

We all know that I am pretty obsessed with all things wedding, so you may be surprised to learn that it is really quite rare that I pay much attention to celebrity weddings. I guess they are often so over the top, and to be frank, often lack much of the creativity one gets with something a little more home-grown. I'm not really into the sort of DIY, handmade thing either, but I like a sort of mix, I guess, of opulence and home-spun classic goodness. Its hard to find the right middle ground, I think, that really pleases my eye.

And you know who TOTALLY missed the mark? Hilary Duff. I mean, for really. It shouldn't really surprise me that a teenagers wedding wasn't really all that and a bag of chips, but this one is just SO off I had to blog about it ... sorry, Hilary, but really?

Exhibit A: The hair.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all about the messy up-do/bun thing, but really? I could have done a better job on your hair, Hilary, and I can barely remember to run a brush through these locks on a daily basis. This thing is just a frizzy giant bouffant of a disaster. What were you thinking?! How did your stylists even let this happen? How did you not look in the mirror and say, "Y'know, the frizzy bouffant thing is just not working for me ..." Oh, Hilary. 
Exhibit 2: Spelling mistakes. Oh my.

Unless we're in some weird country that spells "Compliments" differently than we do (hey, it's a possibility, look at how the Aussies spell "aluminum"!) then you MUST check your spelling, silly girl!!! If you didn't notice, seriously, shame on you. And if someone else noticed and didn't tell you, shame on them and I hope you fired them. And if you DID notice, and decided to use it ANYWAY, I give you this piece of advice: if I learned anything from Tim Gunn, you've got to make it work, and if it doesn't you send your model down the runway naked rather than humiliating yourself like that.

Exhibit 3: Really terrible, not-good kind of retro 90's blue uplighting

It's tacky. It had it's moment, and now it's over. Please, please, please stop using this hideous uplighting business! It looks just plain BAD!!! This is not a discotheque, or a rave in 1998, this is your wedding. You wouldn't use a mirror ball, would you ... oh, please, Hilary, tell me there was no mirror ball ....

Exhibit 4: Icing-less cake. So Hilary said she wanted her wedding to have that home-grown kind of feel that is uber popular in weddings these days. Well, as stated, we all now know that I'm not a huge fan, but I HAVE seen it done really well. And Hilary, darling, with everything else your wedding had going on, a random icing-less cake does NOT make it home-grown. It just looks weird, unfinished, and out of place.

Well, my mom always told me not to say anything if I have nothing nice to say, so here it is.

Her ceremony space looked really pretty.

Sorry, Hilary, I know you're just a kid, but somebody should have hired you a better wedding coordinator. hey, like my friend Emilia over at Sweet Emilia Jane - she's pretty awesome and DEFINITELY would have thrown you the prettiest little home grown wedding you've ever seen!!!!

The Cat.


  1. I have to disagree about the hair! I love it! But the bigger the hair the better in my book. And her bouquet is just divine. Dinner plate dahlias are my faaaavorite. So pretty! I dig the cake too and her boobs look really good! :) The reception...meh. And "complients"?? So weird! Who even allowed that to happen!? Thanks for the love, love.

  2. The lighting makes me think of the finale of some sort of reality dating show; and the cake...where is the FROSTING???? :/

  3. This is probably one of the most gorgeous weddings I've ever seen! I thought everything was PERFECT! She did a great job!

  4. she looks lovely.